Coming Up Roses: The Official Rose of Tralee Drinking Game Competition

It’s one of the most exciting events of late summer! As an official POC – that is “Partner of a Corkonian” – I have been jumping around the house all week ready to cheer on Cork. Last night when I took a taxi home from work the driver asked if I’d be rooting for Cork or Dublin, and of course I answered Cork – but it turns out he was referring to some type of sporting event that took place, who knows. I was actually referring to the most important Kerry-based pageant competition in the Republic of Ireland, the annual Rose of Tralee, duh – and yes, we support the Cork Rose in this house.

Jane and I, as you might have guessed by our accents and vulgarity, are American by birth. Both of us relocated to this island nation several years ago for “study” (though Jane arrived some time before myself, she warned me about yous but I didn’t listen). Since making our respective homes in this country the campy ridiculousness that is the Rose of Tralee is one thing we both deeply appreciate on a level that confuses many of our Irish-born friends. However, being from the nation that invented televised pageants we cannot help ourselves -it’s sort of familiar yet it’s just so quaint – all those ladies and their LOVELY BOTTOMS! Aren’t they great? Aren’t they a fine bunch? Isn’t her guna gorgeous? AND LOOK AT THEIR LOVELY BOTTOMS!

To commemorate this once-a-year celebration of the lovely girls of this nation (and of course the diaspora, represent, holla, woot woot!!!) we are asking fans of Chaos to join us in front of the telly tomorrow and Tuesday night for what is sure to be the most compelling 4 hours of viewing since the Eurvision! To make it even more fun I am hosting a bit of a competition here. You see, I visited my local Dolphin’s Barn Lidl this weekend and bought a rosé  just for the occasion – it seemed fitting. Your job, Thaoghaireans, is to help me come up with a drinking game to play with this bottle of lidl’s finest pink beverage. I know I will drink one sip every time I hear the word “lovely”, and perhaps a drink for every awkward camera cut to the sweaty boyfriend in the audience. That’s all I got.

Please leave your suggestions in the comments below for my drinking game – every suggestion that I add to my “Official Rose of Tralee Drinking Game” will earn you, personally, ten points at your next Chaos evening.

For some additional fun make a prediction as well – if you correctly predict the winning county (any time before the final ten minutes of the show), you will earn 50 Chaos bucks! That’s right, 50 coveted Chaos bucks – worth 50 points at the next event or they can be used to bribe your way to victory.

Please help me out all – I get so much more invested when I am hammered. And of course, you ALL have lovely bottoms.

13 Responses to “Coming Up Roses: The Official Rose of Tralee Drinking Game Competition”

  1. Jane says:

    Drink every time someone recites a poem she wrote herself (da-dadadada-dadadada/da-dadadadadadadada-da-dada, etc).

    Drink every time the host comments on the height of a very tall Rose.

    Drink every time they say hello to someone at home. Drink twice if it’s someone in hospital. You wouldn’t get that in Miss America, would you? They all have lovely bottoms, too, but where’s the personal touch? WHO WILL WAVE TO ALL THE STROKE VICTIMS?

    Drink every time a Rose has decided to do something ‘worthy’ since being made redundant, having no doubt spent the boom years as an infuriating spoiled princess.

    A few years ago I swore there should be a prize for the ‘least ethical Rose’. There was one who was proud to be working on that 7-star hotel in Dubai, another one who wanted to be a patent attorney for human genes, and another chick was shilling for her employer, Nestle on the stage. Wonder what it will be this year.

  2. Amiee says:

    Wasn’t there a girl who was a banker last year and proud of it? She actually made some members of the crows boo!

    And the Rose who was going to be and entrepreneur but she didn’t have any idea what that meant.

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Drink anytime a Rose has a homemade dress (either made by herself, her mother, her aunt, her granny, or her fabrically-inclined brother).

    Drink whenever you spot that look of horror/defeat on the face on an escort when his Rose says that he’s “like a brother.”

    Drink anytime a Rose from outside of Ireland works in an Irish pub. Drink twice if her family owns it.

    Drink whenever an American Rose says something politically uncomfortable. (i.e. the death penalty conversation with Ray a few years back).

    Drink anytime there is a Rose from a place that you only hear about/think about once a year (i.e. during ROT week…I’m looking at you, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne.)

    Drink anytime a Rose mentions the camaraderie between the contestants and how they will be lifelong friends (i.e. for these two weeks, and then whenever they need a place to stay while abroad).

  4. Spangles O'Stock says:

    I LOVE the sound of this…

    and I propose that ROT should be elevated to an Olympic sport in time for 2012. The benefits will be twofold;

    (a) It will be the most popular event by far, as every person in the world has an distant Irish relative
    (b) If The ROT Drinking game becomes officially recognised as an associate sport I will at last have found a sport at which I can excel !

  5. Amiee says:

    So far – I am about one drink away from hammered.

  6. Amiee says:

    Okay we need to make a whole new drinking game just for watching Daithi O Se trying to make conversation – his inappropriate references to the contestants wealth, how their mammies are looking, how ugly their boyfriends are and some ableist comments yesterday have lead my ROT watching companions and I to come up with some new ones – but they are fairly Daithi specific.

    He’s single-handedly standing in as the butt of every Kerry man joke – and it’s making me cringe.

    • Jane says:

      And apparently some people are drinking whenever one of the Roses cleans the lipstick off her teeth with her tongue. Genius. Also, dead immediate family members seem to go over well.

  7. 'neen says:

    A shot of drink for every badly silkscreened banner featuring the grinning face of a Rose.

    A shot for every gormless looking boyfriend grinning maniacly at the camera.

  8. Niamh O' Donoghue says:

    Arizona – The Dougie Howser of Roses

  9. Kev Murray says:

    Darwin, bona fida lovely girl

  10. Amiee says:

    Aw, Darwin was my favorite. She seemed a bit mad, in a fun way.

    Jane I cannot decide who the least ethical rose was this year – there was a rose who was volunteering in Tanzania, living in a hut, who explained they used to break into the hotel to bathe – I found this omission a bit tacky. She followed it up by saying after Tanzania she flew directly to Las Vegas to take a class on diamonds, and she now sells engagement rings for a living. Unless I am forgetting someone she gets my vote.

    Our drinking game dissolved into a game of “drink til it stops”. Daithi was just too painful.

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