No Presents for Christmas: Irish Budget Special and a Tribute to Capitalism

Chaos Thaoghaire has made some necessary adjustments. Won’t you join us to celebrate the future of our great nation?

Do you get the smell of porter?

Date: Tuesday, December 7th, 2010
Time: 7:30pm
Place: The Grand Social, Liffey Street, Dublin 1 (Formerly Pravda)
Price: 30 euro per table of 4 (yes, that’s right, per table)
Theme: No Presents for Christmas: Irish Budget Special and a Very Special Tribute to Capitalism.

Lineup to be announced soon, but it will be a bigger, badder sort of event, the kind that a simpler person might call an ‘extravaganza’, but which, given the day that will be in it, will be the second-biggest clusterfuck in town.

Anyway.

After all the expert analyses and diarrhea data dumps and competitive opinion journalism and fist-banging panel discussions and outraged tweetstreams and bellowing marches and late-night conversations over Lidl Riesling and yellowpack cookies and stolen snaps of government ministers knocking back pints in Toners, that’s not even the tip of the gombeen iceberg.

Do you get the sweaty smell of stale scalp? Because it’s Jackie Healy Raes all the way down.

Someday we will tell this to our state-owned grandchildren.

Who was in charge?
Some men whose fathers owned country pubs.
Could they not have worked in the pubs, too?
They lacked the good sense to run them. Couldn’t keep their soft hands out of the till. Didn’t know from a day’s work.
Could they not pull a decent pint of porter?
Heavens, no.

Here’s what we think. If the D-student sons and daughters of barmen and banker-stroking pig farmers can do simple mathematics, so can we! Even though we can’t! That’s why we have liberal arts degrees and don’t have a house between us!

So won’t you join us for our Chaos Thaoghaire Budget Special? If you can flirt your way through the rows of terrified Gardai, with their crunchy outer riot gear and soft midlands centres, and make your way to the Grand Social, you’ll find the Chaos Thaoghaire budget announcement far more palatable than what will come as no surprise at all in Ireland. After all, Chaos Thaoghaire is a People’s Republic.

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